LOST IN SPACE (AND TIME)
“Where have you BEEN?” Bernard's voice is ragged and hoarse, but that's probably down to the fact that he was smoking three cigarettes simultaneously when they walked through the door. He bounces upright on the leather sofa and stubs all three fags out against the cover of a battered-looking Cliff Richard autobiography, then fixes Manny with a look of righteous indignation. “I have been subsisting on a diet of old teabags and nicotine! I had to roast that dead pigeon that's been lying in the garden for three months! I was reduced to licking the ink off old wine bottle labels! We ran out of WINE! I could have DIED!”
“You could have gone to Tesco,” counters Fran, looking unimpressed, before Manny can start apologising.
“Tesco is not for the likes of me! My kind are not welcome there!” Bernard proclaims, his lower lip wobbling piteously. “You deserted me! My own flesh and blood! Well, well, well I don't need you, either of you, I was getting on just fine without you! I've got new friends now! Better friends! True friends! Friends who won't say they're popping out to get a pizza and then never be seen again!” He slings a possessive arm around what looks suspiciously like a grimy pillow with a face scrawled on its front in magic marker. “This is Petey. Petey will never ever pop out to get pizza and leave me all alone for a whole week!”( Read more...Collapse )